I went to a surprise bridal shower this afternoon from 1-4:30 pm. The worst part about it was nobody in the gropu of 18 ladies thought it was a problem to schedule this party to coincide exactly with the final World Cup game. The World mutha-fuckin cup, yo! The single most popular sporting match worldwide. A game that takes four years in the making; a gathering of the best two teams to gain world bragging rights.
Unfortunately, my phone is currently being repaired and the loaner phone Telus game me does not have internet access. I thought about bringing a laptop, but the condo party room did not have wireless. I even asked my friend Elaine, one of the bridesmaids, to ask the host to bring a T.V. from her appartment and set it up in the corner for me. That didn't go over too well.
So in the end I had to settle for receiving updates via bbm.
Clearly, I am not cut out for bridal shower parties. Here are some of the faux pas' I committed at this party:
- I put on a dress and missed an entire strap completely and walked around the entire time half undressed (luckily I had a mesh t-shirt layer on top of my dress so I don't think too many people noticed.
- The invitation asked for gifts to be wrapped in Christmas wrapping, so I dropped my gift certificate into an oversized x-mas gift bag.
- I was asked to write my favourite memory with the bride and it had to be PG-13 because there were mothers, aunts and her grandmother present so I wrote "the time we recorded (blank) on video and as we watched the replay we realized we had caught (blank) on tape (blanking) (blank)." And yes she read this out loud.
- I downloaded the vuvuzela app on my ipod touch and would periodically sound it off as homage to the game that was being missed.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Robbed by a dumb criminal
I went to Shopper's Drug Mart by my house on Saturday to pick up some sunscreen and a few other essentials. While I was in line I was bbm'ing with a friend to discuss plans for later that evening.
When I got to the front of the line, I set my phone down to pay for my things and put everything away into my grocery bags. I walked out of the store not realizing I had left my phone behind.
When I got to the end of the parking lot I realized I didn't have my phone, so I slowly turned around and walked back, fully confident that the cashier would have found it and held it for me.
When I got to the desk, the cashier was gone. So I asked the supverisor one aisle over where he went because I left my phone at his station. She said he was in the bathroom and paged him over the store intercom. I waited and she paged him again, I waited and she paged yet another time. For five minutes no one knew where he'd gone to. When he finally came back I said to him, "hi, do you have my phone?" and he looked at me with a blank face and said "what phone?" So i explained to him that I set the phone down while I was paying for my things. I even described that a man and his son were standing behind me in line. The cashier looked at me and said "I never saw any phone". At this point I was getting mad so I asked "well where were you just now? Did you go on a scheduled break? No? You were just in the bathroom? Well why did it take so long then?" The supervisor stepped in and said he had every right to go to the bathroom and it didn't neccessarily mean anything. By this time the store is full of customers and I'm raising my voice. "Well I would like to speak to the store manager right away". Then as the cashier is about to turn his back to me I raise my voice even louder: "I'm not trying to accuse you, but you don't think it's curious at all that you dissapeared for so long directly after my phone went missing?" At that point he looks at me and walks away.
When the store manager arrives I told him exactly what happened loud and clear enough for everyone around to hear and the supervisor and cashier tried to cut me off to protest that it was his right to go to the bathroom to which I responded, "listen I'm not trying to accuse anyone here, I'm simply stating the facts exactly as they happened. If you think that anything I've said is untrue that's fine, but if not please let me finish." I then added "I live in this neighbourhood, I've been shopping at this store for over 20 years. This place is a community where people trust and help one another. I am very upset to know that my phone went missing when I set it down for two minutes in your store and I hope you are going to do something to rectify this."
The manager agreed to check the store security camera which was apparently filming the whole time. While I was waiting for the film to be reviewed, I went to the make-up counter lady whom I've known for 20 years and asked her to help me look for the phone. We walked around all over the store and she came running to me to tell me she had found it on one of the shelves. The sim card had been removed and shoved back in backwards so the phone was not working properly.
I went in to the back office to let them know the phone was retrieved and at that moment the footage showed me waiting next in line. The next minutes played out exactly as I described them; I was sending a text, set my phone down to pay, there was a man and his son in line behind me, and I walked away without my phone.
A few minutes later, the cashier slipped the phone right into his pocket. My first question was "is he a minor?" I immediately considered pressing charges. He was apparently 28 years old. The manager and supervisor caled him into the room and played back the tape. At that point he confessed and admitted it was a stupid thing to do. The manager asked me how I wanted to procede and I replied "well the important thing is that I have my phone back, so I won't press charges. But I want you to know that I treat this place as more than just a store, it is part of my community. I know everyone that works in this plaza and the people I see here are my neighbours. What you did is an embarrassment to yourself and to the company. I trust that this issue will be dealt with internally and I hope you understand that the worst part of what you did was not stealing from me, it was that you tried to break the trust of this community."
It felt good to give him shit for his behaviour, lol. I should have been a teacher.
When I got to the front of the line, I set my phone down to pay for my things and put everything away into my grocery bags. I walked out of the store not realizing I had left my phone behind.
When I got to the end of the parking lot I realized I didn't have my phone, so I slowly turned around and walked back, fully confident that the cashier would have found it and held it for me.
When I got to the desk, the cashier was gone. So I asked the supverisor one aisle over where he went because I left my phone at his station. She said he was in the bathroom and paged him over the store intercom. I waited and she paged him again, I waited and she paged yet another time. For five minutes no one knew where he'd gone to. When he finally came back I said to him, "hi, do you have my phone?" and he looked at me with a blank face and said "what phone?" So i explained to him that I set the phone down while I was paying for my things. I even described that a man and his son were standing behind me in line. The cashier looked at me and said "I never saw any phone". At this point I was getting mad so I asked "well where were you just now? Did you go on a scheduled break? No? You were just in the bathroom? Well why did it take so long then?" The supervisor stepped in and said he had every right to go to the bathroom and it didn't neccessarily mean anything. By this time the store is full of customers and I'm raising my voice. "Well I would like to speak to the store manager right away". Then as the cashier is about to turn his back to me I raise my voice even louder: "I'm not trying to accuse you, but you don't think it's curious at all that you dissapeared for so long directly after my phone went missing?" At that point he looks at me and walks away.
When the store manager arrives I told him exactly what happened loud and clear enough for everyone around to hear and the supervisor and cashier tried to cut me off to protest that it was his right to go to the bathroom to which I responded, "listen I'm not trying to accuse anyone here, I'm simply stating the facts exactly as they happened. If you think that anything I've said is untrue that's fine, but if not please let me finish." I then added "I live in this neighbourhood, I've been shopping at this store for over 20 years. This place is a community where people trust and help one another. I am very upset to know that my phone went missing when I set it down for two minutes in your store and I hope you are going to do something to rectify this."
The manager agreed to check the store security camera which was apparently filming the whole time. While I was waiting for the film to be reviewed, I went to the make-up counter lady whom I've known for 20 years and asked her to help me look for the phone. We walked around all over the store and she came running to me to tell me she had found it on one of the shelves. The sim card had been removed and shoved back in backwards so the phone was not working properly.
I went in to the back office to let them know the phone was retrieved and at that moment the footage showed me waiting next in line. The next minutes played out exactly as I described them; I was sending a text, set my phone down to pay, there was a man and his son in line behind me, and I walked away without my phone.
A few minutes later, the cashier slipped the phone right into his pocket. My first question was "is he a minor?" I immediately considered pressing charges. He was apparently 28 years old. The manager and supervisor caled him into the room and played back the tape. At that point he confessed and admitted it was a stupid thing to do. The manager asked me how I wanted to procede and I replied "well the important thing is that I have my phone back, so I won't press charges. But I want you to know that I treat this place as more than just a store, it is part of my community. I know everyone that works in this plaza and the people I see here are my neighbours. What you did is an embarrassment to yourself and to the company. I trust that this issue will be dealt with internally and I hope you understand that the worst part of what you did was not stealing from me, it was that you tried to break the trust of this community."
It felt good to give him shit for his behaviour, lol. I should have been a teacher.
The Stupid Decisions we make while Hungover
I went for a beer with my friend Ann on Wednesday night because she was having boy issues and wanted to shoot the shit. So we go to Turbo and of course we run into several acquaintances there. A pitcher of beer quickly turns into several vodka sodas and vodka shots. And the next thing I know, I'm stumbling home and leaving a trail of shoes, keys, purse, and clothing articles behind me as I make my way to my room.
The next morning, I wake up and it's just baking outside. So I decided in a brilliant move to walk the 15 min to the subway station instead of waiting for my bus. I walk all the way there and realize I left my metropass at home. Instead of paying the $3 fare, I walk all the way home. Once I'm home, I realize I dropped a $20. So I walk all the way back to the station but can't find the missing $20.
The moral of the story is, if your hungover and late for work always think of the easiest solution rather than the more strategic or economical solutions. Keep the decision making stupidly simple, even if if might cost you more time and money.
The next morning, I wake up and it's just baking outside. So I decided in a brilliant move to walk the 15 min to the subway station instead of waiting for my bus. I walk all the way there and realize I left my metropass at home. Instead of paying the $3 fare, I walk all the way home. Once I'm home, I realize I dropped a $20. So I walk all the way back to the station but can't find the missing $20.
The moral of the story is, if your hungover and late for work always think of the easiest solution rather than the more strategic or economical solutions. Keep the decision making stupidly simple, even if if might cost you more time and money.
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